


Oblivious

by ItsAllAboutFreedom



Series: Sterek One Shots [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:54:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4420277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsAllAboutFreedom/pseuds/ItsAllAboutFreedom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles wasn't aware of the fact that he's in a relationship with Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oblivious

Stiles' POV

A lot of things changed after Derek almost died. And I don't mean that it got more peaceful and less dangerous. Though we did have far less threats. But I mean that the pack changed. We got closer. Everyone sort of bonded I guess. Maybe the fear of losing another member of the pack scared them. Someone so close to them. I think that it somehow showed them how real this all was. How dangerous. It probably showed them how fast things could happen. How unprepared they could be for things that could easily happen to all of them.

Though it wasn't just that, that changed. Malia left. She didn't give me the whole reason as to why she did it. She just told me that she needed to find her mother. Though, I'm not entirely sure it was just about that. And for some unknown reason she even broke things of with me. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that I didn't even mind it. In fact, I was relieved when she did it. Glad, even. And I didn't know why. Still don't, to be honest. But I guess I'm starting to realize. I wasn't in love with her.

Malia wasn't the only one who left without giving a proper explanation. Braeden did as well. She told Derek that she wanted to find the Dessert Wolf. Someone she had been looking for, for quite a while now. But Derek could tell that it wasn't the only reason. He could tell that she was hiding something from him. He wasn't too happy about it and when she wouldn't tell him exactly why, he knew that he couldn't be with her. He couldn't be with someone who kept things from him. Not after what happened with Kate and Jennifer. So he ended things with her. And to my surprise, he didn't seem hurt about it. Not as hurt as I thought he would be.

I guess that's where it all started. With Malia ending things with me and him ending things with Braeden. I'm not sure why but that's how we started talking really. Maybe it was because we both didn't know why we were so relieved when both of our relationships didn't work out. Maybe because we needed someone to talk to who understood the whole thing. Either way, we started talking. At first it was just those small unnecessary talks after the pack meetings. Then it turned in to me coming earlier than the rest of the pack whenever there was a pack meeting or a pack bonding time. And by earlier I don't mean by like ten minutes. I mean like an hour. Sometimes even two. After that, it all changed even more. I don't even know of you could call it a normal friendship anymore. It was weird. But I kind of liked it. Actually, I liked it a lot.

It all changed after our first hug. And let me tell you... they was one hell of an awkward hug. But I guess you could say it was in the spur of the moment. And I have to be honest, I was quite surprised myself. Even when I was the one who had hugged him. Though I guess he was more surprised than me, seeing as he wasn't really a hugger. Or one to show even the slightest bit of affection.

\-----------------

It was a few months back when a stupid kid at school somehow managed to find the picture of mom that I always carry around with me in my wallet and found the need to make fun of it. Of my mom. Scott was there, though. So was Lydia, Liam and Kira. They kind of.... maybe humiliated him by telling him off. It was funny to see but that doesn't mean that it still didn't hurt. Because it did. It really did.

After school I went straight home and locked myself up in my room. I guess you could say that I needed some alone time. Some time to think about it. About mom. I guess I really needed it. To be honest, I hadn't thought of her for a while back then. And it made me feel guilty. It made me feel quite disappointed in myself.

You could say that I was glad that dad wasn't at home at the time. That I was alone. By myself. But I needed someone I could talk to. Someone who understood what it meant to lose someone. Someone you loved so dearly.

To say that it was a surprise that Derek came over that day would be a complete understatement. It was an utter shock when he climbed through my window that night, looking slightly sorry for me. Apparently Lydia had told him about what happened at school when I didn't show up at the pack meeting that evening and he wanted to check if I was alright. It really was a shock to me. That's why I didn't understand it when I had that same relieving feeling I felt the day Malia broke it off. At the time I thought that it was because Derek understood exactly how it was when you lost someone a long time ago but still feeling so damn heartbroken whenever someone would bring it up. I thought that it was because I could talk to him about it without him making such a big deal out of it.

We talked. For hours. Not just about my mom, though. He told me about his family too. About what they were like. About all the things he did with them. About how they died. About how he coped with it. Ho he's still coping with it. And it was nice. It made me feel better knowing I wasn't the only one who felt that way. And that I had someone to talk to about it other than my dad.

When he stood up to leave, I stood up as well. What I did next shocked us both. I hugged him. I guess I wasn't really thinking at the time but it sort of seemed like the right thing to do. I mean, he was there when I needed someone to talk to. More than once. He even shared some things with me. Things that I never thought he would share with me. Personal things.

When I hugged him, I immediately pulled away. I knew that he didn't like being hugged. At all. So when I did, I thought I had ruined it. Ruined our friendship. There was an awkward silence after I pulled away. We both looked everywhere but at each other. It was dreadful. Though, when I did apologize, he said it was okay. As if it didn't matter. And that quite amazed me. Especially when he smiled at me. That was something that I didn't expect at all that night.

\-----------------

Ever since that day, me and Derek became closer. Way closer. That was probably the thing that changed the most. That thing between me and Derek. And to be honest, I don't even know what to call it these days. I don't even know what it is. But I do know that it scares me of how much I like it. How much I love it. It really does scare me. But that doesn't mean that I don't want it. I want it more than anything.

\-----------------

"We should totally watch Chappie." Scott said.

It was one of those pack bonding nights where the pack was all gathered in Scott his house. Some of us were sitting or lying on the couch while the other had placed themselves on the floor. Scott, Kira and Liam had taken it upon themselves to sit on the floor with all the pillows and blankets there were leaving Lydia, Derek and I on the couches with absolutely nothing.

Though, I had my own personal pillow so I couldn't really complain.

The first thing that Derek did when he entered the house was claim his spot on the couch. He sat himself in the corner of the smallest couch with his back against the armrest and his legs spread across the rest of the couch. Of course, I took that as the perfect opportunity to claim my spot between his legs so I could lean against his chest with my back. I knew that he wouldn't mind. In fact, I bet that he would have felt offended if I didn't do it. How crazy it might sound but ever since that night where we hugged he has been extremely touchy. Not I mind, of course. He's just been really cuddly. And not towards the rest of the pack. Just towards me. Only me.

It was weird at first. How he would hug me every time I saw him and every time I was about to leave. It was weird because he has never done something that. And at first I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what to do. But soon I started to just go with it. And it didn't take long until it became an automatic thing between us. At first they were just simple hugs. Then it turned into long needed hugs and cuddles. But that wasn't all. That wasn't the only thing that changed. No. After that we somehow ended up giving each other these small innocent pecks on the forehead or cheeks. Even if there wasn't a good reason to do it, we just did. When we hugged, Derek was a bit taller than me, Derek would always place a small kiss on the top of my head. And whenever we would cuddle, I would find the need to softly peck the side of his neck. It was strange at first but now we are so used to it that it would be strange if we didn't do it.

"What's that about?" I questioned, not knowing what movie he was talking about.

Derek, who had his arms wrapped around my waist, pulled me closer and pressed his cheek against the side of my head.

"It's about a robot." Scott told me.

I raised my eyebrow expecting more. "And....?" Scott just shrugged. "That's all you know?" I asked him. He nodded, looking at me with those big brown eyes.

"Just put the movie in." Derek said, losing his patience. He sighed and shook his head in disbelieve when Scott happily stood up from his spot on the ground next to Kira and made his way towards the TV with a smile on his face. "He's so weird." Derek whispered, only for me to hear.

A shiver ran down my neck as I felt his breath tingle against it as he spoke. For some unknown reason it made my heart flutter. "Hm." I hummed. Enjoying the warmth and the protectiveness of the embrace too much to say something. Let alone think.

"What?" He questioned, turning his head only a tiny bit to look at me with raised eyebrows. "No sarcastic comment?"

I slightly shrugged my shoulders and looked back at him. "Too comfy to care." I told him with a lazy smile on my face. I turned my head back towards the TV and smiled to myself as I heard Derek chuckle.

When the film started, I casually lied my head against his chest. The film itself was really good. Though, I couldn't help but listen to the rather fast heartbeat of Derek instead of keeping all my attention on the movie. Maybe I was imagining things or he just had a fast heartbeat in particular. Either way, I kind of wanted to know why.

In the middle of the movie, Derek softly placed a kiss right behind my ear and I couldn't help but notice that his lips lingered a bit longer than usual. I frowned when I felt my own heartbeat going faster. And I didn't even have to look in the mirror to see that there was a blush creeping it's way on my cheeks. I bit my lip, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"You okay?" He questioned. It was just a small whisper but it was loud enough for me to feel my heart skip a beat

I cleared my throat. "Yeah." I replied. "I'm fine." It was a lie and I knew that Derek realized it as well.

"Okay."

He didn't say a word to me for the rest of the movie. It was like he was ignoring me. It was like he was mad or something. Mad that I lied. Some people might say that it would be childish of him to be mad over just a small lie but to him it it's more than just a small lie. If that was one thing that Derek hated the most it was being lied to. And I knew that. He told me that right from the beginning when we started talking. He even told me why. Because of Kate. And Jennifer. And Braeden. His reason was more than clear to understand why he hated it so much. And yet, I had to go and do it. Why couldn't I just tell him? Oh right because I haven't got a clue either.

Soon, the movie ended. Normally we would all stay put and just talk about random stuff but I wasn't really in the mood. And by the looks of it, Derek wasn't either.

"I'll make some coffee." Derek said.

I quickly sat up so that he could get off the couch and frowned as he didn't even look at me when he went inside the kitchen. I mentally groaned, placing my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

"I'll help him." Lydia said as she stood up from the couch. "Who wants some?" She questioned.

"Me." Scott said with a smile on his face.

"Me too." Kira said.

"Can I have a coke?" Liam asked her. Still being the youngest of the pack, we all treated him a bit like a younger brother.

"Of course, dear." Lydia replied. There was a moment of silence. "Stiles?" She questioned. "What do you want?"

I shrugged. I was too got up in thinking of a way to make it up to Derek. Telling him wasn't an option seeing as I didn't know it myself. So either, I find a bloody good excuse that somehow is the truth or I figure out whatever this shit is.

"Just make him a coffee." Scott said.

I felt as someone sat down next to me, making me look up to see who it was, hoping that it would be Derek. When I saw a worried looking Scott sitting next to me I sighed and looked back down at my lap.

"Dude..." He started. "What's up with you?" He questioned.

"I don't know. That's the problem." I told him. The frustration getting the better hand of me. "I've been trying to figure it out for weeks now and I just...... I don't know."

"Trying to figure what out?" He asked me. I looked up at him and shrugged. He frowned, probably not understanding it. "Okay...." He softly patted my back. "Care to explain?"

Letting out a sigh of frustration, I closed my eyes trying to think of the best way to tell him. "It's just.... every time we hug I get all....... fussy inside. If that makes sense. And it makes me feel safe, you know. Makes me feel protected."

"We're talking about Derek, right?" Liam questioned.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, you idiot." I told him. "Who else would I be talking about?" With a simple shrug of his shoulders he looked at me with a curious look on his face. I sighed and looked back down at my hands.

"And what exactly is the thing you can't seem to figure out?" Kira questioned.

"How the hell am I supposed to tell you when I don't know it myself?!"

"Dude, chill out." Scott said, probably not liking the fact that I practically yelled at his girlfriend. "There's no need to take all the frustration out us, alright?"

I glared at him. "Then what am I supposed to do, huh? Keep wondering about it myself?! Not talk about it to anyone?! Cause trust me, trying to figure it out on my own isn't helping!"

Scott sighed, not knowing what to say. "You can talk about it with me." He said. "But I can't help you unless you tell me what it is you're trying to figure out." He said.

"There's nothing you can do to help me, okay." I said.

I was angry. No. I was beyond pissed. For weeks I've been trying to figure out what then had been going on between me and Derek and I just couldn't place my finger on it. It was as if I knew what it was, just not in words. It was so messed up. I was messed up.

"I just want to know." I mumbled.

"What's this even about?" Scott questioned.

"About that thing.... between me and Derek." I told him.

To be honest, I expected Scott to frown and find it weird to talk about. However, I never expected him to laugh.

"If you seriously don't know that.... than you're even dumber than I thought." He snickered.

"Don't know what?" I questioned. I raised my eyebrow, expecting him to tell me but he just chuckled and shook his head. "Just tell me!" I demanded.

"Oh come on!" He exclaimed. "It's so obvious." He said. "You love him, he loves you. You're together."

My eyes widened as I heard what Scott said. "What?!"

"Are you really telling me that you didn't know that?" He chuckled. I shook my head, shocked by it all. "You know.... that doesn't really surprise me. In fact, the only person who probably doesn't know about it..... is you."

"Doesn't know what?"

I looked towards the kitchen door to see Derek looking at us with a confused look on his face and two cups of coffee in his hands. "Nothing." I muttered, shooting a glare at Scott, who didn't seem to notice.

"That you guys are together." Scott told Derek. "Apparently this moron didn't know that." He said, pointing towards me.

I looked at Derek, wanting to see his reaction to all this. I thought he would be just as surprised as me, maybe even more. He didn't seem shocked, though. Not at what Scott had so kindly pointed out. It seemed that he was more shocked with the fact that I didn't know.

He turned to look at me, a frown placed on his face. "You didn't know?" He questioned. It surprised me at how quiet his voice was. Fragile even.

I stared at him. Shock probably written over my face. "How the hell was I supposed to know?! You never said anything!" I exclaimed.

"Stiles..." Scott said. "Calm down."

"What?! No!" Maybe I should have listened to Scott that time. But the thing was that I was with someone and I didn't even know that. That really pissed me off. I looked back towards Derek who had quietly placed a cup in front of me on the table in front of the couch and was still holding the other one in his hands as he sat down on the other couch. "So you're telling me that I've been in a relationship with you for weeks, probably months and it didn't even cross your mind to enlighten me with that?!"

Derek looked at his cup, finding it more fascinating than to answer my question. "I thought you knew." He mumbled, not taking his eyes of the cup.

"Really?! Last time I checked when you're in a relationship you tell each other that you love them. There had been none of that, Derek!" I told him.

"Stiles...." Scott started. "Don't you think that you're overreacting just a little?"

I scoffed and looked at him. "No." I said. "And even if I was..... who cares, right?" Looking back over to Derek I saw him biting his lip while looking down at hic cup of coffee. "I mean, everyone probably knew about this except for me so I guess I'm allowed to overreact about all of this, don't you think?"

The whole pack had guilty looks on their faces as I said it, making me feel slightly bad about yelling at them. But this wasn't about them. It was about them not telling me something this big. It was about them keeping something like this from me and not even thinking about telling me about it. But most of all.... It was about how Derek only just figured that I knew when he should have told me himself. That was the worst part. How he never considered telling me about it.

"So tell me, is that what a relationship looks like to you? Keeping it from the other? Not telling them how you really feel? Cause if it does, then I really don't want to be a part of it."

The look Derek gave me when I said that... almost made me feel guilty for saying that. But then I remembered why I said it in the first place and I couldn't help but glare at him.

When no one gave even the slightest sign that they would say something, I shook my head in disbelieve and stood up from the couch. Even though there was a part of me that was telling me to turn around and talk this through, I forced myself to walk towards the front door and grab my jacket. I silently placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it around to open the door. The door was only open by a few inches when I heard someone rushing over. It wasn't long after that before someone slammed the door shut and turned me around, cornering me against the door.

"I'm sorry." Derek whispered as he looked down at me from where he was standing right in front of me. "I didn't mean to upset you."

It shocked me at first. At how close we were. But I didn't let it show. "Well, you did."

He frowned and looked down at the ground, never removing his hand that was still placed against the next to my head from slamming it shut. "I know. And I'm sorry about that." He rushed out. "I just...."

"Figured I knew?"

He looked at me and nodded. "Yeah." He bit his lip, giving me an unsure look before he said something. "Can't we just talk about this?" He questioned.

For some reason I felt like saying no. But I knew that I had to listen to what he had to say. No matter how angry I was. I had to know why he didn't tell me. Because I had a feeling that it wasn't just because he thought that I knew. With Derek there was always more to it.

"Sure." I said.

He briefly glanced over his shoulder before he looked back at me with a tiny smile on his face. "Somewhere private?" He questioned.

I couldn't help but chuckle as he said that. Whenever Derek wanted to talk to me it would always be somewhere private. He wanted to tell me but he never wanted the rest of the pack to know. Or someone else. That was just how Derek was and still is.

I hesitated but mentally told myself 'fuck it' and grabbed his hand before opening the door and pulling him outside with me. I heard someone close the door and figured that it must have been Derek.

We decided to go for a walk to talk about things but after a dreadful long silence I knew that he wasn't going to start talking.

"You know..." I started. "I'd never thought that I would say this.... but I know you, Derek. And I know that there's more to it that you thinking that I knew." I told him.

I hadn't realized that our fingers were entwined until I felt him squeezing my hand in response. It made me look up at him. It made me see the fragile look in his eyes.

"You're right." He said.

I scoffed. "I'm always right." I muttered.

He chuckled but it soon turned in to a frown. "No, I'm serious." He told me. "You're right. There's more to it."

"Enlighten me, then."

I knew that the silence meant that he needed some time to figure out how he would tell me. He needed to find the right words. So I did as I always did whenever he needed some time. I enjoyed the feeling of his company.

It was weird though. Knowing that he thought that we were together. It was weird because I'd never thought that I'd find myself in this position. Wondering if it was true what Scott had told me. That I loved him. That I loved Derek. And to be honest, I didn't even know it myself. All I knew was that I felt safe and protected whenever he was around. And it wasn't because he's a werewolf. It was because he made me feel that way. And I felt it whenever he hugged me. That was something that I did know.

Suddenly Derek came to a stop and sat down on a bench in the nearby park. I must have been way too caught up in my own thought to even realize where we were going. I sat down next to him and placed our hands that were still entwined on my lap.

"The truth is....I was scared that if I told you that you would freak out about it." He said. "I was scared that I would ruin things between us or that you would feel uncomfortable about it. And I guess it just kind of freaked me out that I didn't dare to tell you." He was looking down at his own lap, probably feeling slightly embarrassed. "And I know how fucked up it might sound but I guess I was scared that...."

"That I would hurt you?"

The guilty look on his face was enough to confirm that it was indeed that. That was the thing he was scared of the most. He was scared that I'd end up hurting him like Kate or Jennifer. Or that I'd end up lying to him like Braeden did.

"I can't promise you that it won't happen because that's one hell of a promise and I'm like the king of making stupid and reckless choices. But I can promise you this." I told him. "I promise that I will do my best to never hurt you. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to protect you and I promise that if anyone ever hurts you, I swear to god I will personally make them pay for it."

For a second I thought that he was going to kiss me with the way he was looking at me. I would have never thought that the Derek Hale would be laughing his ass of.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "What the hell is so funny?! I just literally poured my heart out to you and your reaction is this?!"

"It's just..." He started, trying to catch his breath. "How can you not have noticed?" He questioned. The smile on his face gave away the fact that he was somehow amused by all of this. But the confusion in his eyes showed me that he really didn't understand it.

"Noticed what?" I asked him. I knew what he was talking about. But there was just a part of me that was dying to hear him say it.

With a frown on his face he looked down at his lap and bit his lip. "My feelings for you." He said. He looked back up at me and tried to hide the fact that he was feeling vulnerable. Fragile. "I mean, you must have noticed that I was way more affectionate towards you than anyone, right?"

"Well, yeah." I sighed. "I guess I just...." For some reason, I found it hard to figure out the right words to tell him what I wanted to tell him. I knew exactly what I wanted to tell hem but I just didn't know how. And the fact that he was giving me that hopeful yet scared look didn't help at all. "I thought that you were acting the way you did towards me because you started to really trust me. I mean, I thought that it was because we were sharing so much about our lives that you felt comfortable enough to, you know, ... let me in, I guess." Now it was my time to look down at my lap and bite my lip.

I heard him hum, making me look at him and seeing him staring at me with a soft smile. "Can I ask you something?"

I grinned at him. "You just did."

"I'm serious." He said. I nodded as soon as I saw how serious he really was. "Why have you been acting so strange these past couple of days?" He questioned.

I chuckled, knowing that he was going to ask that particular question. "Because I finally realized why I like having your company." I told him. "I sort of figured out that I have feelings for you but was too scared to admit it to myself. And that's why I freaked out when Scott told me that because for some reason, even after he told me that you also love me, I got scared that you'd find out and that you actually wouldn't feel the same." With a shrug off my shoulders I looked forward and watched how the sky was slowly turning darker. I then realized that we had been sitting here for quite a while now. I turned my gaze back towards Derek and noticed him staring at me. Again. "Look... I'm really sorry for yelling at you. I just really hate it when people keep things from me that I have a right to know of and I should've known. I mean, I knew that you never were someone to show any kind of affection but it kind of never really crossed my mind."

"It's fine, Stiles." He told me. "You had every right to be angry. And you're right. I should've told you." He smiled before he pulled me closer to him. "You know, I'm kind of mad at myself." He said, slowly leaning forward.

I frowned. "Why?" I breathed out. We were so close that our faces were only inches away. I knew that my heart was racing and I knew that Derek could hear it.

"Because.." He whispered. "If I had told you sooner.... We could have been doing this for weeks." He told me.

"Do what?" I questioned.

"This." He muttered.

Out of all the things that I had thought of that had anything to do with my future or anybody's future, I would have never thought that there would be a day that Derek Hale would be kissing me on a bench in a park. It just seemed so cliché and surreal. Yet, it was real. And it was the best feeling I've ever felt. I couldn't even describe it. To me, words just weren't enough. Words will never be enough. All I knew, was that it was a feeling that I never wanted to let go of. Never.

The kiss was slow. It was as if we had all the time in the world. And at that moment.... we did. Though, it felt as if we were making up for all the time that we could have been doing this. all the time we have lost to my oblivion. And to Derek's fear. I guess we both have things to work on. Together.

I forced myself to pull away from the kiss, letting my forehead rest against his while I tried to catch my breath. "Wow." I breathed out. My eyes were still closed when I was suddenly being pulled up from the bench so that I was standing back on my feet. I bit my lip and opened my eyes to see the most beautiful green eyes looking me straight in the eyes.

Derek grabbed both of my hands in his and took a deep breath. "I know that I kind of messed up a bit.... or a lot.... but I really want to give this another chance." He told me in all honesty. "So, will you be my boyfriend?"

Not really expecting that, I did the only thing that came to mind. I kissed him. He let go of my hands and wrapped his arms around my waist while my arms found their way on his shoulders.

Pulling away from the kiss, I grinned and nodded my head. "Yes." I said. "I would love to be your boyfriend."

I guess you could say that this story had a happy end because it really did. And to say that I was ecstatic about it was just an understatement.


End file.
